Fun with maps!

So I'm taking a GIS class (or was taking, I just finished my final project). I get to make maps. It's pretty awesome.

I'll probably turn my report into a blog post tomorrow or the day after, but for now, enjoy this fun map:

I'm still alive (last I checked)

So um I've been kind of busy these past few weeks. Well, that isn't exactly true, but I've had exactly zero motivation to do much. Sometime soon I'll write up my travels to the Inauguration and all that fun stuff.

One thing that's fun to consider: so far this year, I've been on trips to Peoria, IL and Washington, DC, with stops in Virginia, Maryland and Buffalo, NY, along the way. In about 15 minutes I'm leaving for Ypsilanti, MI. Then next weekend I'm going to Long Beach, CA, and after that I'll either go to Boston, MA, or Indianapolis, IN. The next weekend after that I'll be in Eau Claire, WI. After that I'll stick around IL some more, with fun fun side trips to Peoria and Dekalb. But then there's a pretty good chance I'll go to Montreal, Quebec, in March, and in April I'm going to Akron, OH and Springfield, MO. Then there's always the possibility of Grad School visits. Oh and wherever I go during spring break.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's fun to go places.

New Year Links

So, having spent most of 2009 thus far lying around and watching crappy TV, here are links n stuff.

• On the way back towards civilization from the north shore, I saw a plane parked on the side of the freeway. Turns out there was engine trouble and nobody was hurt, but there was a very dead deer on the road nearby.
• Bangkok is probably somewhere to avoid on New Year's Eve; two years ago, I left town about 6 hours before there were bomb blasts that killed a few people (and saw this on CNN Headline news in the Detroit Airport, where the old couple sitting next to me were more concerned about the turtle that fell in love with the hippo than the people that died). This year, a fire killed about 60 people.
• Fail
• If I drank pop, I would totally want this.
• An excuse to gain weight.

Aaand that's it for the first post of 2009. Holy crap it's 2009.

Goodbye 2008...

So it's been almost a week since I bothered posting anything; I was bored/busy/in the middle of nowhere most of that time. But I did get to go to Finland to watch their TV for the Alamo Bowl.

Sometime soon I'll have a looking ahead to 2009 type post, but suffice to say I'll probably try to post here more often. And hopefully graduate n stuff.

As for 2008, it had its ups and downs and at this point my general feeling is 'meh'. So 2009 should be better, I hope.

And the 2008 leap second was pretty anticlimactic.

Christmasness

Last Christmas post, I promise. Just a bunch of christmassy videos. Because I'm lazy.

[Christmas Story 2]

Once upon a time, I had a lot of time on my hands (apparently) and wrote a short story about Christmas. Being the intelligent person that I was, I didn't finish it until after Christmas, and decided that it would stay safely on my hard drive until the next holiday season. Which was a bad idea, since my hard drive did not survive that long. However, thanks to the miracle of gmail, I've discovered the story again and this week am presenting it in segments. You can read Part 1 here; this is Part 2:

“I can tell you what Christmas is all about” said Linus from Peanuts, who had magically appeared in the middle of the group. “I can tell you the True Meaning of Christmas. Lights, please”

In the fields near Bethlehem, there sat certain shepherds, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the lord came upon them, and they were sore afraid.

“RUN AWAY!” shouted the first shepherd (history, sadly, does not remember their names) and proceeded to do just that.

“Wait!” the angel shouted “I bring glad tidings! This day in Bethlehem there is a baby born, a savior, in a manger!”

“Uh…” the second shepherd said “I think you may have a wrong number.”

“Plus,” the third shepherd added “only animals are born in mangers. Is a pig going to save the world?”

“Stupid humans…” the angel mumbled, as he went off to find another group more receptive to God’s Message.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, three wise men noticed a bright new star in the sky. Because the star seemed to be getting increasingly brighter, and because of the somewhat shoddy nature of their astronomical training, they decided that this star was in fact no star, but a meteor headed straight for the earth. Using some simple algebra, they determined that Earth had a little less than two weeks left before impact.

“Damn” Balthasar said “Two weeks…wow…well, there’s only one thing to do, I guess…”

“Send a spaceship up with our non-existent nuclear weapons in an attempt to destroy it?” said Melchior.

“No” Balthasar responded “go on vacation! Exotic Bethlehem, here we come!”

And so, the three wise men got on the phone with their three not-so-wise travel agents. Unfortunately, as everyone knows, it is nearly impossible to get a flight around the holidays. They tried everything they could think of to get on a flight.

“I don’t mind not having an Aisle seat” Caspar told his travel agent “I’ll even fly economy…it’s that important!”

“Look, if you won’t accept Visa, I’ll give you a partridge in a pear tree!” Melchior said.

Still, the travel agents would not budge. For twelve days the three wise men begged, pleaded with and attempted to blackmail the travel agents, to no avail. On the twelfth day, though, they managed to reach a deal: three economy class tickets on Air Judea in exchange for Twelve Drummers Drumming, Eleven Pipers Piping, Ten Lords a-leaping, Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids a-Milking, Seven Swans a-Swimming, Six Geese a-Laying, Five Golden Rings, Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree—a hefty sum, but one the wise men were willing to pay.

Once the wise men arrived in Bethlehem, they realized that they were not quite as wise as they had thought. Because they had not made any hotel reservations, and the holiday rush was still going on (Bethlehem’s ski slopes were legendary in the Roman world), they ended up staying in a manger with a young couple with a small baby.

The baby cried all night long their first night there, and nothing they did could silence him. They offered bribes—Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh—but nothing would make the baby shut up. To make matters worse, a little drummer boy had shown up and was going pa-rump-a-pum-pum, rump-a-pum-pum, rump-a-pum-pum, all night long. Worst of all, the star slowly faded away and the three no-longer-wise men realized their mistake: there was no meteor threatening Earth, and they had spent their entire fortunes on plane tickets.

In the end, the three formerly-wise men got jobs at the local Wal-Mart, and they lived happily ever after.

“And that’s what Christmas is all about” Linus concluded.

“Gee, I totally understand now” Santa responded, not entirely unsarcastically.

Slowly, then, the group of embittered Christmas personages got to their feet, and surrounded a small tree. Together, they began to sing to the tune of “Hark the Herald Angel Sings”, “loo-oo-oo-oo, loo-oo-oo-oo…”

“God bless us, every one” said Tiny Tim, who had shown up simply for the purpose of providing a heartwarming ending.

Fin.

[Christmas Story 1]

Once upon a time, I had a lot of time on my hands (apparently) and wrote a short story about Christmas. Being the intelligent person that I was, I didn't finish it until after Christmas, and decided that it would stay safely on my hard drive until the next holiday season. Which was a bad idea, since my hard drive did not survive that long. However, thanks to the miracle of gmail, I've discovered the story again and this week am presenting it in segments. Here's part 1:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all around the world, the sky was dark and snowflakes twirled¹. Still, not everyone was filled with the spirit of Christmas. In a desolate snow-filled field, a lonely figure stood, watching the stars.

As the snowstorm grew in strength, another figure strode up. This figure, though, wore a ridiculous looking top hat.

“They got you too?” the first figure said.

“Yeah” the second responded “they just stuck a top hat on my head, said it had ‘magic’ in it and all of the sudden, thumpedy thump thump, thumpedy thump thump, off I went. Name’s Frosty, by the way”

“They didn’t even bother to give me a name” the first said “they just pretended I was Parson Brown, and then they abandoned me, and I ended up here. Didn’t even care about what I thought. God, I hate them.”

“Me too” Frosty said. “Let’s stay here, and never go back to them again.”

“Works for me” the first figure responded.

The two figures stood together in the field, and the snow started falling harder than ever. After a while, a small red light appeared in the distance. Slowly, it approached the two lonely figures. Before long, it had arrived—nine reindeer pulling an overweight man in a sleigh.

“Ho ho ho!” Santa said (for that was, of course, who the overweight balding man was). “I sense a distinct lack of Christmas cheer!”

“It’s not our fault” Frosty said. “We’ve been abused by the mainstream media for so long that we’ve decided to boycott Christmas until they treat us better, or at least give us some royalties”

“Hmmm…royalties…that’s not such a bad idea” Santa said. “I know what you mean about being abused, though. Can you imagine all the crap I have to do to keep up with all their expectations? How am I supposed to be able to see everyone while they’re sleeping, and know when they’re awake? Well what about when I want to sleep? Eh? You think they ever give me any time to sleep? Nooo…I haven’t gotten even a wink in the past 2,000 years. And they think they can make up for it by leaving me milk and cookies one night a year. ONE MEASLY NIGHT! You know, I’ve been about to quit several times now. I get all ready to quit and then, all of the sudden “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”. The next time I try to get out of this, bam, Miracle on 34^th Street. You know, I think I’ll sit here and join you guys then. Rudolph, everyone else, go ahead and take a break!”

After a while, Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, came over to Frosty and whispered in his ear.

“Pssst” Rudolph said “Can I join you guys? I’d do anything to get out of this negative work environment.”

“Negative work environment?” Santa yelled, overhearing, “you have a negative work environment? What about me!!”

“You don’t have to put up with these bozos” Rudolph responded, indicating the other eight reindeer. “They’re total suck-ups! First they don’t like me at all, or let me play in any of their reindeer games, but then Santa says he likes me and whaddya know, they all love me and shout out with glee!”. “Plus.” He said, indicating Santa “you’ve gained a lot of weight the past few years”.

“Stupid Atkins diet…” Santa mumbled “they told me it would work”.

“Still” the first snowman said “all these other people like Christmas. Maybe we’re missing the whole point of it.”

“I can tell you what Christmas is all about” said Linus from Peanuts, who had magically appeared in the middle of the group. “I can tell you the True Meaning of Christmas. Lights, please”

1 Except, of course, for the large part of the world where the climate renders this impossible. But they wouldn't have snowmen there either. Hmmm. Ignore this note.

To Be Concluded...