Thanksgiving

I wrote this four years ago for Thanksgiving:

Thanksgiving originated in the 1600s, when the “Pilgrims” arrived in America on the Mayflower. The “Pilgrims” were a group of seperatists facing religious persecution in Europe, so they came to America to persecute the Native Americans.

However, a Native American named Squanto brought them food when they were hungry and taught them many valuable lessons, such as how to sing with all the voices of the mountain, paint with all the colors of the wind and play American Football.

Only one of these skills has been passed on to the present day. American Football is a game where two teams composed of rather large humans collide, and throw a ball around. After every play, or “down”, there is a pause for a 5-minute commercial break. Watching, and playing, American Football is a common Thanksgiving activity.

On a side note, there are some American Football teams that are, quite simply, the root of all evil. Not to mention the Green Bay Packers by name, but, well, they are the root of all evil.

Thanksgiving also gives us opportunities to eat all kinds of foods that we do not normally eat, such as turkey. Turkeys are large birds (not unsimilar to American Football players) that run around waiting to be eaten by Americans on Thanksgiving.

Oftentimes, turkeys are accompanied by “Stuffing”, a substance with roughly the same texture and appearance as vomit, and gravy, which is stuffing with a little extra water.

Cranberries are another popular item at Thanksgiving dinners. Unfortunately, nobody is really sure where they come from, although there are some who claim that they are really small aliens trying to take over the world.

Perhaps the only thing that we eat at Thanksgiving that I would recommend eating all year long is Pumpkin Pie. Pumpkin Pie, with the right amount of whipped cream, can be a perfect addition to any holiday meal, its mouthwatering taste can haunt people for months, and some, including me, wait all year for November, pumpkin pie season…pumpkin pie…pumpkin pie…

Besides all the wonderful food, Thanksgiving is a time of reflection, prayer, and, well, thankfulness. I hope everyone (or at least as many of you as possible) will reflect and be thankful we have such good excuses to eat as much food as possible. Oh, and also that we aren’t Packers fans.

Of course, my thanksgiving dinner that year didn't involve pumpkin pie or turkey, but instead some not so great Thai food at a hotel in Bangkok. But whatever.